Pendulum Swinging
Time keeps going forward, so I guess it was inevitable that the pendulum swings back the other way. I was having a really crappy week, but today seemed a bit better. I wasn't feeling as lousy as I have been for a while.
So I had a long talk with my parents the other night about a lot of stuff. Some shouting, some talking, a lot of emotions. They noticed I was being withdrawn and quiet, not wanting to say anything at all. They wanted to know if I was ok. So we talked. Sometimes I feel like it's pointless trying to explain my thoughts to my dad. He either takes offense, or tries to show me another point of view. My mom, on the other hand, understands me far better. In terms of the way our minds work, she and I are far more similar than me and my dad. I guess I needed that.
I'm not feeling as angry at my sister as I was. Still haven't talked to her in a bit, but I'm not angry anymore. I have no idea where that anger came from. Part of it is her manner of speaking. She embodies every pet peeve I have when she speaks to me. People have said in the past how I somehow get angry when she's speaking, even if it's about something non-offensive. But in the end, she's done quite a bit for me. How are you supposed to react to genuinely cares about you, but pushes your anger buttons at the same time? I guess that's typical sibling dynamics, and in my increasing bi-polarity, I guess it was just the pendulum swinging one way.
On a better note, I got to hang around with Seema today. She's great. The type of friends who I can not be in touch with for nearly months on end, then meet up with her and catch up without missing a beat. We hung around at the Barnes & Noble with the Starbucks attached. B&N is a highly underrated hangout spot (for the truly geeky at heart, like myself).
So now that I'm doing a bit better, I just hope that the pendulum doesn't swing back into the negative direction too badly.
So I had a long talk with my parents the other night about a lot of stuff. Some shouting, some talking, a lot of emotions. They noticed I was being withdrawn and quiet, not wanting to say anything at all. They wanted to know if I was ok. So we talked. Sometimes I feel like it's pointless trying to explain my thoughts to my dad. He either takes offense, or tries to show me another point of view. My mom, on the other hand, understands me far better. In terms of the way our minds work, she and I are far more similar than me and my dad. I guess I needed that.
I'm not feeling as angry at my sister as I was. Still haven't talked to her in a bit, but I'm not angry anymore. I have no idea where that anger came from. Part of it is her manner of speaking. She embodies every pet peeve I have when she speaks to me. People have said in the past how I somehow get angry when she's speaking, even if it's about something non-offensive. But in the end, she's done quite a bit for me. How are you supposed to react to genuinely cares about you, but pushes your anger buttons at the same time? I guess that's typical sibling dynamics, and in my increasing bi-polarity, I guess it was just the pendulum swinging one way.
On a better note, I got to hang around with Seema today. She's great. The type of friends who I can not be in touch with for nearly months on end, then meet up with her and catch up without missing a beat. We hung around at the Barnes & Noble with the Starbucks attached. B&N is a highly underrated hangout spot (for the truly geeky at heart, like myself).
So now that I'm doing a bit better, I just hope that the pendulum doesn't swing back into the negative direction too badly.
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