Going Home?
So as I sit here in Meadville, PA. I'm confused. I can't believe it's been nearly a month since I've gotten here. I'm a bit weirded out to go home and see everyone again. I was thinking about it, it's been a little strange, how I'm only heading home for a month before moving to Atlanta. Thank God. Al-Ummah was the first step in forming my new life. It's only been 3 weeks, but it feels like the experience of several years all compressed into a month.
I'm thinking about the way I was when I first got here. A few weeks back, the counselors all had a few hours off, so we sat in a grassy field and bonded. We were going around, telling eachother our first impressions of one another. Sultan thought I was originally a complete tool. Rightfully so... the first conversation I tried having with him was about Angels & Demons (aka DaVinci Code with different names for the characters). Thinking about the way I was before camp is strange. I feel like I'm a completely different person at this point.
The participants left this morning, the rest of the counselors are napping right now. I'm one of the few who got a good night's rest last night, so I'm blogging for the first time as the cliched 'new me.' I miss the kids already. I was walking around the nasty and dirty hallways of the now empty dormrooms... seeing all the towels and Axe deodorant spray left behind. It finally hit me that they're gone.
To sum up the Al Ummah experience, it really wasn't what I was expecting. It was different and a whole lot more. The first week of counselor camp was fun, but I started sinking into one of my oh so typical but never expressed withdrawals. I was having moodswings, so sometimes I'd be enjoying myself with everyone, other times I was thinking of just vanishing. Week two came around and the participants arrived. I managed to offend a few the first day (but apologized the next day... today I exchanged warm hugs and I miss them already... learned the power of apology and self improvement). Week three I was just taken off guard... I withdrew from most things and just thought about the situation I was in. This past week I felt like the personality I thought I killed and buried within myself came back to life. For the first time in years I feel like I've opened up and let my guard down. And I have to say, it feels pretty good.
I'm heading home on Sunday. I'll share more experiences when I have the chance.
I'm thinking about the way I was when I first got here. A few weeks back, the counselors all had a few hours off, so we sat in a grassy field and bonded. We were going around, telling eachother our first impressions of one another. Sultan thought I was originally a complete tool. Rightfully so... the first conversation I tried having with him was about Angels & Demons (aka DaVinci Code with different names for the characters). Thinking about the way I was before camp is strange. I feel like I'm a completely different person at this point.
The participants left this morning, the rest of the counselors are napping right now. I'm one of the few who got a good night's rest last night, so I'm blogging for the first time as the cliched 'new me.' I miss the kids already. I was walking around the nasty and dirty hallways of the now empty dormrooms... seeing all the towels and Axe deodorant spray left behind. It finally hit me that they're gone.
To sum up the Al Ummah experience, it really wasn't what I was expecting. It was different and a whole lot more. The first week of counselor camp was fun, but I started sinking into one of my oh so typical but never expressed withdrawals. I was having moodswings, so sometimes I'd be enjoying myself with everyone, other times I was thinking of just vanishing. Week two came around and the participants arrived. I managed to offend a few the first day (but apologized the next day... today I exchanged warm hugs and I miss them already... learned the power of apology and self improvement). Week three I was just taken off guard... I withdrew from most things and just thought about the situation I was in. This past week I felt like the personality I thought I killed and buried within myself came back to life. For the first time in years I feel like I've opened up and let my guard down. And I have to say, it feels pretty good.
I'm heading home on Sunday. I'll share more experiences when I have the chance.
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