Day of your life...
Assuming the average life expectancy of the average American is something like 78 years, (adjusting for lead years), most of us on average will live about 28,450 days in our lifetime. That's a lot of days. So looking back, especially since most days seem to blend into one another, how do you know which days were the best and worst days of your life?
Worst days of my life - hard to tell. The stresses of law school are definitely putting this period of time towards the worst category. But it really is hard to say. Sophomore year of college was pretty miserable... not having the right group of friends, having problems with roomates, general malaise. Yeah, that period of time really sucked. The time period immediately following college was also really crappy. Before I was paralegalling, I worked in the restaurant and catering business for several months. That was also a particularly downtrodden period.
Best days of my life - also hard to tell. Al-Ummah during the summer of 2004 was definitely up there. Just so many good memories from that month. For some reason, the one I remember most vividly was just lying down on the grass on the grass during an unstructured hour, staring up at the clouds, hearing the participants in the background just relaxing and chatting with one another, enjoying the feeling of the sun on my face and the prickly feeling of the cool grass beneath the back of my ears.
So why do I bring this up? For some reason, in the middle of the day, I had the feeling that today was the worst day of my life. The specific reason - I don't know.
Law school has gotten off to a rough start this year. I've fallen into a rut that I'm trying my hardest to break out of. For some reason, for no particular reason, everything seemed to culminate in a big pile of crappy feelings today. After classes were over, despite the amount of work I had to do, I just had to go home and pass out for about an hour or so. I didn't want to see anyone or anything. I didn't even want to be here. So after my nap, I got up, not feeling any better, and came here to the library to work. Sounds fun doesn't it?
I remember hearing a while back some words of wisdom about how when you hit rock bottom, it's actually pretty liberating, because you are free to go anywhere (thank you Fight Club). But I'm not sure if I've hit rock bottom yet. How do you truly know when you've hit rock bottom?
I keep trying to think of how lucky I am in certain regards. Supportive family, good deal of security from them, constant support, truly a wonderful gift from God. Which is probably why I feel so crappy everytime I think of it. With so much luck and the tools to truly go anywhere in life, I've managed to squander it and do virtually nothing. After college, I was pretty much doing nothing useful with my life. Making pocket change while working in the catering business with people who didn't speak English, to being a paralegal barely making enough to officially be above the poverty line (considering how I wasn't living a lifestyle reflective of my meager sallary, makes me feel even worse). Then I came to law school, which would hopefully give me something better to do with my life. And what did I do afterwards, I worked for free at a law office this summer helping to practice a form of law I don't want to practice myself later on.
So that's probably why today felt like the worst day of my life. It was the first day I decided to be truly honest with myself.
Worst days of my life - hard to tell. The stresses of law school are definitely putting this period of time towards the worst category. But it really is hard to say. Sophomore year of college was pretty miserable... not having the right group of friends, having problems with roomates, general malaise. Yeah, that period of time really sucked. The time period immediately following college was also really crappy. Before I was paralegalling, I worked in the restaurant and catering business for several months. That was also a particularly downtrodden period.
Best days of my life - also hard to tell. Al-Ummah during the summer of 2004 was definitely up there. Just so many good memories from that month. For some reason, the one I remember most vividly was just lying down on the grass on the grass during an unstructured hour, staring up at the clouds, hearing the participants in the background just relaxing and chatting with one another, enjoying the feeling of the sun on my face and the prickly feeling of the cool grass beneath the back of my ears.
So why do I bring this up? For some reason, in the middle of the day, I had the feeling that today was the worst day of my life. The specific reason - I don't know.
Law school has gotten off to a rough start this year. I've fallen into a rut that I'm trying my hardest to break out of. For some reason, for no particular reason, everything seemed to culminate in a big pile of crappy feelings today. After classes were over, despite the amount of work I had to do, I just had to go home and pass out for about an hour or so. I didn't want to see anyone or anything. I didn't even want to be here. So after my nap, I got up, not feeling any better, and came here to the library to work. Sounds fun doesn't it?
I remember hearing a while back some words of wisdom about how when you hit rock bottom, it's actually pretty liberating, because you are free to go anywhere (thank you Fight Club). But I'm not sure if I've hit rock bottom yet. How do you truly know when you've hit rock bottom?
I keep trying to think of how lucky I am in certain regards. Supportive family, good deal of security from them, constant support, truly a wonderful gift from God. Which is probably why I feel so crappy everytime I think of it. With so much luck and the tools to truly go anywhere in life, I've managed to squander it and do virtually nothing. After college, I was pretty much doing nothing useful with my life. Making pocket change while working in the catering business with people who didn't speak English, to being a paralegal barely making enough to officially be above the poverty line (considering how I wasn't living a lifestyle reflective of my meager sallary, makes me feel even worse). Then I came to law school, which would hopefully give me something better to do with my life. And what did I do afterwards, I worked for free at a law office this summer helping to practice a form of law I don't want to practice myself later on.
So that's probably why today felt like the worst day of my life. It was the first day I decided to be truly honest with myself.
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