Stormclouds
One of the perks of living on the 19th floor of a highrise building in an area that doesn't have many other tall buildings around is that there is a phenomenal view. During the evenings, the setting sun floods my apartment with an orange glow that's very peaceful. But when the weather is not so nice and thunderstorms blow through, the show from my apartment is amazing. The number of lightning strikes you could see is breathtaking.
There's something oddly alluring about lightning storms. I've always had a fascination of watching them ever since I was a kid. I remember a few years back, I was looking through one of the windows of my bedroom. Our house in Long Island is located next to a middle school, and this window semi overlooks the sports fields. A lightning storm blew through, and watching bolt after bolt strike was just amazing. Combined with the force of the winds and the torrential rain, it was like watching nature get all its anger out.
These last few days have had several lighting storms. Every day I've been able to see these magnificant events. Personally, when I get annoyed or angry about something, a private and semi-violent outburst definitely helps me. I like punching the side of the mattress or a couch cushion. If only I had a punching bag in my apartment.
For some reason, I've been feeling really crappy lately. I wish I could have spent more time at home this summer. But work kept me here living an extremely simple lifestyle, not doing too much, more or less keeping to myself. So now the stormclouds of my life are accumulating, and I feel like it's going to pour pretty soon with a few lightning strikes here and there. Small things and quirks that people have that normally bother me, I almost always overlook. Lately, I've been finding myself not so easily dismissing these little things. I still control myself completely, but little things have been pissing me off lately. I want to lash out at almost everyone, but I restrain myself because I don't want to cause any damage.
At my exit interview the other day, my boss gave me some constructive criticism that kind of stuck. He said that I'm affraid to offend people and that I take no for an answer a little too frequently when dealing with folks. It's true. Thinking back , I put up with an enormous amount of BS with a huge number of people I have dealt with in the past. The amount of anger I swallowed so as to not fully upset them or to scare them. Sometimes I wonder whether restraining my words and thoughts has done more harm or good in the long run.
There's something oddly alluring about lightning storms. I've always had a fascination of watching them ever since I was a kid. I remember a few years back, I was looking through one of the windows of my bedroom. Our house in Long Island is located next to a middle school, and this window semi overlooks the sports fields. A lightning storm blew through, and watching bolt after bolt strike was just amazing. Combined with the force of the winds and the torrential rain, it was like watching nature get all its anger out.
These last few days have had several lighting storms. Every day I've been able to see these magnificant events. Personally, when I get annoyed or angry about something, a private and semi-violent outburst definitely helps me. I like punching the side of the mattress or a couch cushion. If only I had a punching bag in my apartment.
For some reason, I've been feeling really crappy lately. I wish I could have spent more time at home this summer. But work kept me here living an extremely simple lifestyle, not doing too much, more or less keeping to myself. So now the stormclouds of my life are accumulating, and I feel like it's going to pour pretty soon with a few lightning strikes here and there. Small things and quirks that people have that normally bother me, I almost always overlook. Lately, I've been finding myself not so easily dismissing these little things. I still control myself completely, but little things have been pissing me off lately. I want to lash out at almost everyone, but I restrain myself because I don't want to cause any damage.
At my exit interview the other day, my boss gave me some constructive criticism that kind of stuck. He said that I'm affraid to offend people and that I take no for an answer a little too frequently when dealing with folks. It's true. Thinking back , I put up with an enormous amount of BS with a huge number of people I have dealt with in the past. The amount of anger I swallowed so as to not fully upset them or to scare them. Sometimes I wonder whether restraining my words and thoughts has done more harm or good in the long run.
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