Dooley Drive of the Clairmont campus. Dooley is the Emory theme, something macabre. Took me a while to figure out the 13 mph was deliberate.



From my balcony overlooking the Clairmont campus. That's where I lived last year (grad buildings are the low rises on the right). Background includes the downtown skylines on the left and the midtown skyline on the right.



From my balcony. Buckhead skyline.


From my balcony at sunset. Some buildings from the Buckhead skyline.

Bring 'em on...

My cousin posted a comment on my last blog entry. To her, I quote the eloquent words of the current President of the United States of America... "Bring 'em on." Let the blog wars begin. If you're not with me, you're against me! Just kidding... I love her to death, but respectfully disagree with her on occasion.

So the last week or so has been interesting. Last week was my first full week at the office. It wasn't bad. The guy I'm working for is actually pretty decent. At first, I thought he was kind of sleazy... the type of lawyer they write the jokes about. But as I'm getting to know him, he's not that bad. He treats me very well. Gives me a good amount of substantive work to do. I'm learning a lot of stuff about the actual practice of law from him that I never learned paralegalling or in the first year of law school. All in all, I'm glad I took this opportunity. But ironically, every day I wake up not wanting to go to work. I need a break. Luckily I'm coming up to NY this weekend for memorial day.

I can't believe it's been a year since Al-Ummah. I was hanging around with AK last week when Hafeez was in town. We had an awsome time just catching up and hanging around. Those two guys are heading back this summer. I'm outright jealous. I really really want to go back. It was one of the best experiences of my life. Certain members of last year are going back this summer, as well as a few other folks I know. If I can't be there this summer, the least I can do is send a few care packages to the folks I know who will be spending sleepless nights in debrief sessions, helping the quiet kids open up, helping the loud kids tone down, and helping everyone develop a sense of identity. Nowadays in khane, I still talk to a bunch of the kids from last summer. It's great, the whole big brother feeling hasn't gone away.

Other than that, I'm still living half unsettled into my apartment. Still no furniture in the living room, so I have the tv on the floor and an inverted cardboard box that's substituting for a dining table at this moment. Last week I went to Walmart to buy some crap (it's walmart, all they sell is crap). So I spoiled myself with some new DVD's. I got the Back to the Future trilogy (guilty pleasure, good 80's fun), and "Young Sherlock Holmes." Young Sherlock is a movie I used to watch all the time growing up. It involves these evil Egyptian cult members going around 19th century England murdering people and making human sacrifices. Another guilty pleasure, and at a Walmart price.

I can't wait to go home this weekend.

Routine life

I felt like crap when finals ended. I don't think I did all that wonderfully, and in keeping with my being in a rut for the semester, I was even further brought down by the fact that I didn't have a job lined up. But then something good happened, I had an interview with a small firm (virtually a solo practice) in midtown, got hired on the spot. That was good. Problem is that the dude who hired me insisted that I start that very next week. So things got moving fast.

It's not entirely like the paralegal experience. For one thing, despite not being paid, there's more pressure to perform. But it has its good and bad aspects. One good thing is that I'm doing substantive things, like researching laws and statutes and investigating particular circumstances. Dare I say, sometimes it's even fun (the investigations part at least). The downside is that it's stressful, and it's work. I feel that same old routine from Paralegalling days, when I come home, relax for a little bit, fall asleep, then do it all over again. Luckily I have the weekends to keep me entertained.

So for the past several days, I've been going to Jamatkhana services regularly. Ironic, I don't think I've been a daily attender since Al Ummah last summer. But this is nice, it's not far from home, it's a pretty peaceful place, and it's relaxing. Glad that I have that to keep me sane. Speaking of, my cousin's blog had a recent entry about the ubiquitous presence of God and violence. Interesting take on the religious issue. I don't remember who said it, but the quote "There are no atheists in foxholes" comes to mind. Hell, if I ever had to live in a warzone like Afghanistan, I'd be more religious considering how close to death every day existence can be.

Why is it that atheists and other staunch secularists always think religion is a bad thing? I totally see the merits of their arguments regarding extremism. I would never defend the practices of the Taliban or people like Bin Laden regardless of how much they try to wave the Islamic flag. Nor would I ever give any support to the Christian far right, with their war on secularism and evolution, with their thinly veiled attempts to establish a Christian version of Iran here in the United States. Nor will I ever stop condemning the Jewish extremists who insist on land grabbing in the West Bank and Gaza, causing unknown amounts of suffering just in the name of the letter of religion.

The problem's facing world wide religions are pretty universal. But it's not religion itself that is the problem, it's the lost spirit. When Muhammed came around in the 9th century, the Arabian peninsula was a complete hellhole with a harsh and violent existence amidst continuously warring tribes. His introduction led to unprecedented peace and prosperity in that region. But unfortunately, the egalitarian spirit of Medina has been forgotten, even in Medina. Ironically, it's the United States that's most closely resembling that spirit today. Instead we have those claiming to support Muhammed's mantle blowing themselves up, oppressing women, and god only knows what else.

One of my favorite stories is about the Rabbi Hillel, in which the Rebbe was mocked by some pagans, who said they would convert to Judaism if he could recite the Torah standing on one leg. He stood on one leg and said something along the lines of, "the essence of the Torah is to wish unto others as one would wish for himself. The rest is just commentary, go learn it." Somehow we got from that to a bunch of folks who see the Old Testament as nothing more than a land contract. Forget the 10 commandments (especially 'Thou shall not kill'), and forget the whole 'Love thy neighbor' concept, we have land at stake.

Christ was a pacifist. Remember the whole "turn the other cheek," bit, and the entire bit about loving your enemy?" Sounds like a nice message. If you love someone, he's no longer your enemy, so peace should prevail, or at least progress made. And somehow, today we have bible-thumpers declaring war on evolution and finding intricate ways to deny gay people certain rights.

Where did religion go wrong? When did it stop being about the spirit of goodness and humanity? When did all of this other crap become more important than the core meanings? All I know is that I enjoy my religion because it gives me an escape from the stress of the world. The whole 'be nice' aspect works pretty well for me. So, I pray for the salvation of true religion in this world. Because it's a good thing, if only people remembered what it's really all about.

But there is hope. Despite the shortcomings of institutionalized religion, there will always be a place for individual spirituality. Hopefully that will prevail. I'm anxiously waiting to see what will happen.

Surveying the Damage

Finals ended last week. I have to say that the week of finals was quite literally the worst week of my life. Seriously, I can't remember a time that I was more stressed, more freaked out, more upset, and more frustrated than the most recent week of finals. Who knows how those exams went. All I have to say is that I'm glad they're over with.

I decided to stay in Atlanta for the summer. The day after finals ended, I had an interview with a small practice in Midtown, more or less a solo practice. The guy who interviewed me is the managing partner. He really grilled me at the interview. Unexpectedly, he used the Socratic method to quiz me during the interview itself. For those of you not familiar with the Socratic method, it involves grilling the student with questions and guiding him to analyze the situation from every possible angle, and essentially figure out the problem on his own. It's common practice in almost every law school, and is one of the main reasons law students are stressed out all the time. And this guy decided to break out this method during the interview, asking me complex questions regarding bankruptcy. Somehow, I made it through, and this guy gave me an offer on the spot. The guy seems like a no-nonsense business type who's going to work me hard, but also someone from whom I will undoubtedly learn a great deal.

But there's a problem. The writing competition for law review is currently going on. As if finals weren't bad and stressful enough, now the law review is conducting it's own version of a final - but really an entrance exam. It's time consuming, somewhat stressful, and pretty competitive. Law school's pains continue even when the year is over. I told the guy who hired me that this competition is going on, but he insisted that I start as soon as possible. So my first day of work is tomorrow. This week I'm working part time, next week I make the shift to full time. Fun stuff.

On a brighter note, I got to see my parents this weekend. I was really missing them, and I'm especially glad my dad got to get away from his stressful life in NY for a short bit and come down to Atlanta to unwind. He and my mom both needed that. I think I needed it more than they did. After finishing what was quite honestly a traumatizing experience, I needed some comfort from the parents. So luckily, I got to see my parents, spend mother's day with my mom, and just get some sleep and relax with the folks.

Part of the reason my parents were in town was to close on my new apartment. I got a new 1 bedroom that's in the highrise across from where I live now. The apartment is awesome. It has a fairly large balcony with an absolutely breathtaking view. If I look to the left while on the balcony, I can see the Downtown, Midtown, and Buckhead skylines. If I look right, I can see endless miles of tree tops and houses scattered in between. This view is going to be amazing come this autumn and the foliage starts to change color. Now that will be an amazing site. And best of all, I can't wait to not have a roommate anymore. After all the crap I've been through with roommates, I think I'm finally done. The current roommate isn't bad, but I still would rather have a single. I don't want to have to be the one who goes to the living room to ask if the volume can be turned down so as to not disturb me, or rather to have to silently suffer from the horrendous stench from whatever it is this guy cooks and the like. Luckily, after I move my stuff, I'll have the luxury to do whatever I feel like at my liberty in my own apartment.

Reflecting back on this past year, although I'm still recovering from the hellish nature of the first year, I'm still glad I did it. My life is definitely more focused. Although I'm still not sure what I want to do with my life, more specifically whether I want to be a lawyer, I still feel like I'm stronger now than I was a year ago. I feel like I can process information better, I can analyze things better, I can hold my argumentative ground better, and all in all, I feel smarter than I did a year ago. It's ironic, after graduating from stern, I graduated Cum Laude and was a Founder's day scholar (which means I was in some top percentage of the class, who knows what). But upon graduation from Stern, I felt like an idiot. I felt like I wasn't smart and that I was below most folks. It was horrible, and I'm not sure if it was a cause or effect, but it definitely affected my job searching. I was unemployed / doing catering and restaurant work for more than 8 months before finally getting my act together and finding a job as a Paralegal. The paralegal job definitely helped the self esteem, but I was still in the post college rut. Then came Al Ummah, which definitely helped the esteem and whatever. But then came the irony of law school.

Law school did a lot to me. I enjoyed a lot of the stuff I studied. But after first semester, with a not so stellar performance, I fell into somewhat of a rut again. But despite my confidence being shaken, I realized that I wasn't the smartest person in the school, and hell, not even in the smarter half category, I still didn't feel like an idiot. I don't think I did all that well on the second semester finals, but I'm not feeling stupid. It's ironic, in this setting, with lower grades, I feel smarter than I ever did with high grades at NYU.

So all in all, I'm reminded of the after-battle scene in Braveheart, when William Wallace and his rag tag army of Scotsmen were bloodied and exhausted, but victorious. They knew they had harder battles to fight ahead, but they had their heads up. Hopefully my next semester battle, regardless of how bloody it will be, will be an improvement from the one before.